'It ends with us': Domestic Violence and us

While the whole country is appalled with the gruesome murder of a young Shraddha Kelkar by her lover in the national capital and a similar high profile case of the murder of Instagrammar influencer Gabby Petito in America by her boyfriend, many are thinking about how women tend to address domestic violence and even educated girls are largely acceptable of the violence that goes on within the four walls of a house. Quite incidently I read Colleen Hoover's 'It ends with us' takes us through a woman's journey to break the cycle of abuse. Colleen Hoover broke my heart and then stitched it back together multiple times while reading this book. The entire book revolves around different scenarios of the protagonist's trauma of seeing her father being violent towards her mother. The author's brave attempt to bring forward a sensitive issue like this, which by the way isn't spoken as much as it should, is definitely commendable. At one point, Lily the protagonist, faces the same dilema her mother went through, and at that moment, I had this realisation that it's really easy to blame the victim for not taking any action against violence. But when you're being put on the same shoes and you experience it first hand, it's very very difficult. 'It ends with us' is a story about Lily and her relationship with two charming men, Ryle and Atlas. I loved Ryle and Atlas both but just one difference sets them miles apart. Lily's love for both were powerful but just one of them was the right kind. Hoover wrote Atlas in such a way that the readers have no choice but to love and adore him. Ryle's character is heart wrenching in every way possible. Can't hate him, can't love him. Hoover is although known for big plot twists in her books, the plot twist in Ryle Kincaid and Lily Bloom's marriage shocked me. One can never predict the final pages of the book, some might even need trigger warnings before starting this book, but then again, I find it almost necessary for everyone to read this book. I felt the need of more details to understand all the crevices in the protagonist's mind because I feel like 'It ends with us' is more than just a love story, or domestic abuse story, it's about choosing oneself over somebody you love. Domestic abuse is a lot more nuanced and critical than people talk about. Not to deny, while reading the book, I fell in love with the abuser, just the same way Lily did. I kept on making excuses on behalf of him. And at the end, I hate to say it but I had mixed feelings about Lily leaving Ryle. But, like Lily said, "Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles, rather than facing the fear of jumping and possibly not landing on your feet.” It ends with us will mix your feelings, emotions and leave you with confused choices, goosebumps, heartbroken, but when you turn the final page, you'll realise that how much strength it takes for every abusee to actually make a decision. Submitted by - shabnam nehar, 1st semester, department of communication and journalism, Gauhati University.